Stages of Love for a Man
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Stages of Love for a Man – We all want a real and lasting love, which is between 20 and 30, 40, 50 or more. Too many marriages are falling apart, and most people do not know why. They mistakenly believe they have chosen the wrong partner.
After going through the grieving process, they start to look again. But more than forty years later as a marriage and family counsel, I discovered that many people seek love in the wrong place.
They do not understand that level three of the 5 levels of love is not the end, but the real beginning to achieve real and lasting love:
Stage 1) Falling In Love
Falling in love is the natural thing for humans to choose a partner for our species to pursue. It’s so beautiful because we inundated with hormones like dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, testosterone, and estrogen. Falling in love is also good because we project all our hopes and dreams on our lover.
Imagine that they will fulfill our vows, they will give us all the things we have not received from the children, that will meet all the promises that our past relationships have not fulfilled. We are sure that we will be in love forever. And since we love the “hormones of love,” we do not know.
When we are in love, we reject the pessimists like George Bernard Shaw, who warned:
When two people are under the influence of the most violent passions, the craziest, the most misleading and ephemeral, they must swear that they will remain in this excited, abnormal and exhausting state until death separates them.
Stage 2) Becoming A Couple
At this point, our love deepens, and we join together. It’s a time when we have children, and we raise them. Going beyond the parental phase, this is the moment in which our bond between couples deepens and develops. It is a moment of union and joy. We learn what the other loves and expand our individual lives to prepare an experience of “both.”
During this phase, we experience less “love” feelings that fall from head to toe. We feel more connected to our partner. We feel warm and tender. Sex may not be so wild, but it’s satisfying.
We feel safe, cared for, appreciated and appreciated and we feel close and protected. We often think that this is the last phase of love and we hope it will last forever. Often blinded by the third stage turn.
Stage 3) Disillusionment
Nobody spoke to us about the third step to understand love and marriage. In the third phase, my first two marriages have collapsed and, for too many relationships, it is the beginning of the end.
It’s a time when things go wrong. This can be done slowly or feel that a switch is switched and everything goes wrong. The little things start to bother us. We feel less loved and loved and We feel trapped, and we want to escape.
We become more irritable, angry, hurt and withdrawn. And We can stay committed to work or family, but dissatisfaction increases. We wonder where the person we once liked was. We desire the love we once had, but we do not know where it happened or how we can find it. Both partners want to leave, or sometimes people stay “together” without feeling close.
It is a moment in which we often get sick of body, mind, and soul. In our marriage, Carlin and I started having problems with our hearts (headaches?). We have diagnosed with atrial fibrillation. I started having severe problems with erections. In fact, there were times when he was unhappy, and we both thought about leaving the relationship.
But we did not give up; We continue There is a saying: “If you go to hell, do not stop.” This seems to be true at this stage of life. The positive side of the third step is that the heat burns many of our illusions about ourselves and our partner. We have the opportunity to be more tender and to appreciate the person we are with, not the projections that we have assigned to them as an “ideal partner.”
Carlin and I have been together for thirty-five years. Let’s move on to the following levels of love and feel blessed to have learned the skills necessary to master the phase of disillusionment and thoroughly enjoy the last stages of love.
Stage 4) Creating Real, Lasting Love
One of the gifts we face in the third phase is that we can reach the heart of what causes pain and conflict. Like many people, Carlin and I grew up in families that were not functional. My father and mother both had depression, and my father tried to commit suicide at the age of five. Carlin’s father was an angry and violent man. His mother left him to protect himself and his daughter. All of us have wounds, and scars need healing if we want to have a real and loving relationship.
Stages of Love For a Man – Ongoing research into the study of adverse childhood experiences (ACE) conclusively demonstrates that childhood trauma can affect our physical, emotional and relational health. For the first time, I found the link between my father’s suicide attempt when I was five and my adult depression and erectile dysfunction.
Carlin and I learned to be allies, helping each other to understand and heal our wounds. As we began to improve, the love and laughter that we thought lost started again. We began to see ourselves as beautiful beings who had suffered a lot in the past and joined together to love each other and heal the wounds of our old childhood.
There is nothing more satisfying than being with a partner who sees you and loves you for who you are. They understand that their pain behavior is not because you are cruel and without love, but because you have hurt in the past and the past always lives with you. When we understand and accept our partner, we can learn to love ourselves better.
Stage 5) Using The Power Of Two To Change The World
Stages of Love For a Man – No one should remind us that the world is not very good. There are wars and conflicts in progress. Racial violence seems to be everywhere. We wonder if humans can survive. I asked myself: “If we can not find peace between two people who love each other, how lucky are we to create a world that can work for everyone?”
But now, I look the other side of the question. If we can learn to overcome our differences and find real and lasting love in our relationships, we may be able to work together to find real and lasting love in the world.
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